Tag Archives: inspiration

Overcome & become

It takes a lot (out of you) to overcome and to become. Yet, the final result is greater than where you initiated.

It’s like in maths, when you subtract a negative integer from a positive integer you can end up with a greater number than you started off with.  That’s a confusing concept when you first come across it, right? It’s hard to explain. In fact most of the time you don’t seek to explain it, you just memorize:

– – = + because 2 – – 2 = 4

When you’re trying to overcome a bad experience, the loss of a loved one, or maybe just the fact that you disappointed yourself… it eats away at you for a while. It seems like every passing day just gets worse instead of better. But sometimes, it has to get worse to get better. You just have to keep reminding yourself that it does get better, no matter what. It’s a process, and that process includes feeling tiny in a huge world, which in turn makes all your footsteps feel minute and insignificant. That process also includes cocooning (or rolling up in your duvet like a sushi, which ever analogy you prefer). But eventually, it includes you spreading your wings too. Think about it, even a caterpillar takes 9 to 14 days to grow to its full size, and pupate; and then it takes an additional 9 to 14 days for it to metamorphose into a beautiful butterfly (plus it has to wait for its wings to dry and be “flight ready”). And a caterpillar is born to become a butterfly. That’s basically its entire purpose in life. It’s only acceptable that it doesn’t come as second nature to us.

It’s supposed to be a challenge. It’s supposed to feel inexplicable. But, that which is a challenge is predisposed to be overcome. Just as that which is inexplicable is in disposition of becoming explicable. I’m sure the guy who realized that two negative signs, once juxtaposed, become a positive sign, did not figure it out over night, and I’m pretty positive (pun not intended) that he probably grew a couple of white hairs in the process of trying to explain the inexplicable.

I guess we have to not lose sight of that. We have to be self-aware. We need to identify our strengths and weaknesses. We need to recognize that what may be a challenge to one, may just be “easy peasy” to another. And we need to acknowledge that all of this is okay. It’s fine. It’s A-O.K.

Just take all the fucking time in the world and become a big beautiful ass butterfly

(or become a positive integer, whatever floats your boat).

 

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Laissez le décalage vous pousser

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I haven’t written for my own pleasure in a long time. I miss it. Mostly, I miss the act of writing something (by hand) that is my own and not a piece of writing forced upon me by school or any other kind of work for that matter. At the same time though, I take my not-writing as a sign to suggest that I feel better morally and psychologically. See, like for most other people, writing was my outlet for when I felt angry or sad and just generally depressed. I have seen myself change for the better but I sort of wish that I didn’t write just because I was sad or couldn’t deal with life. It’s true I was sad when I wrote but some of the writings I produced even impressed me. I can’t find that n me anymore. It’s sort of as though the darkness of not knowing who you really are allows you to plunge deep into it, dig up those feelings, and express them in words. Then once you know or begin to know, you seem to lose that… or perhaps you just lose interest in the quest altogether. Whichever the case, there suddenly seems to be an absence… there’s no big question that’s gnawing at your brains. That’s not to say I’ve got it all figured out – I’m far from that. I still have trouble sometimes, and I still don’t know where I’m going but maybe I’ve just given into finding out somewhere along the way. And yes, I still have a lot to say… but it’s none of that inner turmoil that just spills itself out onto blank, empty pages. That’s gone.

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A Lack Of Inspiration

Lately, I’ve been drained of inspiration to write.
I don’t know why. Usually it’s something I love to do, something I find easy to do, and something that just comes along with a new wave of emotions.
The only answer I can find is a loss of inspiration and maybe a lack of emotions too.
Am I really that overwhelmed with school work, extra-curricular work and just regular teenage girl things that I don’t have time to really listen to myself and spill my thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper?

I’ve lost whatever it was that I had, and I really want it back.
Come baaack!

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