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2k19

I feel like 90% of the time I usually start the year with a post regarding the new year and new year’s resolutions and how it’s a new beginning, etc. Then again, that’s not such a high percentage considering I do not share posts on a regular basis.

Nonetheless, I don’t feel like it this year. Pretty plain, pretty blunt. I don’t feel as though life has been treating me all too kindly lately – it has, ahem..uhm, killed my vibe. And so, I don’t really feel like making a super appreciative, hopeful and pro-life post. Not only that but also, despite liking new year celebrations very much, I feel like it’s another sad excuse we humans have created to realize that the sun rises every morning and that some of us are fortunate enough to wake up to it. The date changes every twenty-four hours. Every 30 to 31 days the month changes and every 365 (sometimes 366) days, the year. And every day is a new day. And every day is a new beginning, a new chance. In the words of Nina Simone, “it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me”. So celebrate everyday you wake up! Because some people don’t get to.

Some are sick. Some are lying in hospital beds. Some are living in places where freedom is not something they can take for granted, but is something they have to fight for everyday. Some are dreading waking up, because it means they will have to hear their stomach groan with hunger once again.

If you are reading this; if you are able to read this, you probably have a lot going for you, pal. And that’s something to be grateful for. That’s something to be happy about, and not just every 365 days – every 24 hours, every minute, every second!

I sometimes find it despicable that we get together with those we love every year and celebrate the new year by slashing the sky with ostentatious fireworks. I mean, in a sense, even that is incredibly inconsiderate of those less fortunate, of all the city’s pigoens and seagulls and stray cats and dogs… of this kind and humble planet, Earth.

So much for a non-hopeful and non-appreciative post about the new year.

Happy twenty nineteen.

And still; no one’s getting any younger.

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Assess, address, adjust

For the first time in my life, I’m starting to face my problems. I’m admitting them out loud… and proud. Addressing the issue, that’s the beginning of everything, right? It’s difficult. It’s also not exactly relieving at first. On the contrary, initially, you’re like ‘shit, is my mind really this screwed up?’ or like ‘why the fuck do I do the things I do?’ but then you realize it’s not necessarily because something is actually wrong with you. And even if it is, at least you’re realizing it soon enough to do something about it. I swear confronting my issues sometimes makes me want to tear my hair out; it makes me hate the person that I was. But only for a minute. Or maybe for an hour, maybe even two! It passes; eventually. You feel better.

So what? Sometimes we go through things that make us act a certain way later on in life. Or sometimes the way we were brought up has a negative effect on us. But there’s no point in blaming yourself for all the messed up wiring in your brain. There’s not even really any point in blaming your parents or your parent or whatever. It’s not like they were given a tutorial of how to raise you either. Just quit pointing fingers, ‘cause it ain’t gonna solve the problem. I get that it feels better to say “it’s all your fault” but ultimately you can’t go back and change the way they did things. What you can do, is move forward. Assess the damage, address the issues, and look into solving them. Find your inner peace. You don’t need anybody else to account for the damage done to be able to fix it.

Assess, address, adjust and move on.

 

 

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Something to keep you all going

As you are all reading this, I will probably be soaring high above the clouds in an airplane… This is just a post to show you all some of the things that I have been up to (aside from all the travelling) and that I hope to make posts about in the near future.

  1. History Project – We are doing a big project in history based on a subject of our own choice. Mine is to do with film propaganda during WWII (any contributions are more than welcome!) I hope to share with you somethings that I learn and find interesting throughout my research. 
  2. Reviews – I hope to write some reviews, or at least one review on a film that I have watched and/or a book that I have recently read. I’ve watched quite a few recently, and read a couple too! I hope I find some time or rather I hope I am disciplined enough to remember to make some time for it.
  3. Photos – Ever since I went to Portugal I realized how much I want to take more photos. I hope to do so and post them here, at least occasionally!
  4. Creative writing – I haven’t done any of that in a while… I feel like my mind is not clear or free enough. I did some during the summer when I was feeling really relaxed, and honestly I haven’t been in that kind of a situation since last September, but I will try my best.
  5. Any other daily, random things that I wish to share with you all, because that’s just what I do and because this is definitely not a journal 😉

So, that’s it really… I know it’s not much, but it’s a start.

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Wow, when did that happen!?

I just got home from school and naturally the first thing I do is go on my laptop, and check all the social networks I’m connected to. My fingers automatically type “wordpress.com”, at a speed so high that I have no control over them, and guess what? A bunch of notifications, a bunch of likes, and a whole new bunch of followers!
Well thanks to you all I have knocked over the “50 followers” mark, and now have 52!
So maybe on your blogs, this is not such a great achievement, but it means a great deal to me. When I started up this blog, I was really uncertain of how things would turn out. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to share my thoughts and ramblings online. Then one friendly follower, lead to two, lead to three, and thanks to all of you appreciative readers and followers I have gained some confidence in both myself and in life. At the end of the day, what I share here is based on those two themes; and those two themes have a tendency to fail me and I consequently lose hope. But all of you have changed that for me. I thought my life was not great, I thought my life wouldn’t be worth your time, I thought I wouldn’t be worth all your time and I sincerely thought I didn’t have that much style; particularly not a writing style. I still don’t entirely believe that I do, and it’s definitely something that I need to master, but all of you have given me hope that there is potential!

The bottom line is: I would like to thank you all from the heart, for all your support and for all the time you have spent reading my posts 🙂

I hope that I can add more to my blog and make it all the more intriguing for you!

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