Life has been travelling in circles for the past couple of weeks. I go to school, I try to look pretty, I make sure that I’m smiling, then I come home, put on my sad face, take off my jeans, grab a baggy t-shirt and sit in front of my computer until my eyes water. Occasionally someone walks in so I have to communicate. Communicating: it feels like I’m so detached and miles apart from the person that’s speaking to me. I can see their lips move, and I can hear them, but I’m not really listening, because I don’t really want to. After a series of yeses and noes they’ll leave and I’ll resume my thoughtful gaze into the world of the internet. Then other times you’ll have some homework to do, like writing an essay that you really don’t want to write, or solving equations for math. So when your parents walk in you pretend to write so they think you’re working, but really all you’re doing is typing this bullshit. They’ll never know because they never understand what it’s like to be in your head. I swear something’s going on, something’s changed and I don’t know what it is. I can’t recognize it. I can’t recognize me anymore. I look into my reflection and I see this girl, who resembles who I was, but within her lies a girl she doesn’t even know.
Travelling in circles.