Considering the latest unpleasant family events; I have before me a question which I cannot seem to answer.
In staying here I risk my education, but in returning to my old, unhappy lifestyle I risk it just as bad. Clearly my marks are at downfall. I don’t have anything to hold on to. Brussels has never meant anything to me, and apparently it never meant anything to my parents either. Their inconsistent behavior and attitude is driving me to the brink of sanity. A sixteen year old can’t be expected to carry the weight of that much on their shoulders. I’m tired of supporting my upset mom and avoiding my unfair dad; and so are they. I just want them to call it a day and end this living hell. I guess the worst part of it all is my dying respect and love for my dad, and his blind eyes who cannot see how badly this is torturing me.
And so this brings me back to my original question; should I stay or should I go?
Do I leave this house I love, this place I love where I can find peace of mind and return to my high school in Brussels (which I am not quite as fond of)?
Or do I stay in here, in this house, where I probably won’t be able to go to school for at least some weeks (maybe more) and at least try to relax?
The truth is I’m tired, and I can’t find the energy in myself to do anything. I’m tired of supporting others and keeping a smile on my face. It’s time to support myself. Let someone else answer all the questions.
If only someone in my family would take the initiative and steer us in the right direction…